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Child sexual abuse.. 10 signs that your child is suffering

 

Child sexual abuse.. 10 signs that your child is suffering

25-year-old C says: ‘I was young, eight or nine, I don’t really remember much, but he was my dad’s friend and he lives near our house, and we would visit her now and then, but sometimes I would go alone to tell him a message or Something to take to my dad and when I was alone this happened. He would tempt me with lots of candy and touch me or make me do certain things that later became known as ‘sexuality’ and that went on for a while. I was embarrassed and thought they would think I was lying. I’m fine now and I have friends and a job But I remember it now and then and feel low and wish I could have told my mum and dad.

This is one of the many stories that owners never skip or share with loved ones telling them that they were sexually molested in their childhood. Sexual harassment is a very important issue that all parents should be concerned about and no one denies that raising children requires a lot of effort and participation, but a large part of our children’s safety must come from outside the home, so from here we are talking to you about one of the most important educational issues that You can face it and we will give you all the information and pointers you need to solve this problem or not to avoid it in the first place.

Beginning: A detailed definition of child sexual abuse

Child sexual harassment Forcing a child to engage in sexual activity or to engage in sexual activity with an adult or older person. Sexual harassment is not just about touching a child, there are other images that are considered harassment that you should be aware of. These images may include:

  • An adult shows a child his genitals.
  • An adult who touches a child in a sexually suggestive manner (whether he is dressed or not).
  • Masturbating in front of a child or forcing him to masturbate.
  • Sharing pornography with a child or forcing the child to produce pornography.

According to official statistics from the US Department of Justice and UNICEF, 67% of “reported” sexual assault victims are children under the age of 18, 34% are under the age of 12, and one in seven victims are under the age of 18. 6. .

Child abuse can occur in places familiar to the child, such as clubs or schools.

Bullying boy or girl doesn’t recognize sex

Many Arab societies are based on the myth that men or boys “cannot” be victims. The principle of masculinity prevents this. Customs and traditions state that boys grow up at an early age to be able to stand up for themselves, whether you are a child. The person who believes in this principle or not. , we should note that boys in childhood do not differ between them and girls because both are just “children” and boys are as likely to be molested as girls are.

So… who is a pedophile?

The crime of harassment and the person who harassed him depends primarily on gaining the child’s trust. The sexual harasser is not only, as the tales tell us, that he is an old human being, a huge and frightening person or even strange, such as statistics indicate that most incidents of harassment are committed by someone the child knows (shops) and trusts. and has authority) and usually a close person, neighbour, coach, babysitter or even a family member (all 9 out of 10 children know the perpetrator). And pay attention to anyone who gives the child special attention, for example g- gifts or sweets, or tries to spend time alone with your child.

Here you have to answer the first question that may come to your mind after reading the previous questions: How can I balance my desire to protect my child and frighten him from everyone around him?

Remember that the point here is not to scare the child from someone who is nice to your child, or that the outside world is a scary place, but the goal is to protect them from any harm, and the key to doing this is to establish a relationship of trust between you and your child and a space to talk about everything that is going on with them.

How do I know that my child has been sexually harassed?

Since the majority of parents fail to talk to children about these sensitive topics, children usually do not talk about the physical abuse they have experienced out of fear and believing that what happened was “their fault” or “they were persuaded.” The harasser that what is happening is or should be normal Be secret’.

Most child victims may not show any physical signs of harassment due to the body’s rapid recovery, especially when they are young, but after examining a number of cases, there are some signs to look out for:

physical signs:

Pay close attention to the following signs:

  • Unusual discharge from the penis in boys or from the vagina in girls.
  • Complaints of pain in the genitals.
  • Bruising, cuts, or other signs that can’t be explained or have no identifiable cause.
  • Involuntary urination or difficulty urinating.

Behavior signs:

Behavioral symptoms, more than physical signs, can help determine whether or not a child has been molested. So pay attention to the following:

  • The child may become aggressive or withdrawn and not participate in usual activities.
  • The child has difficulty sleeping and may have nightmares or urinate during sleep.
  • The child is afraid of certain people or avoids spending time with them alone (this person is most likely the harasser).
  • The child begins to engage in inappropriate behavior, may engage in sexually suggestive behavior, or use sexually explicit terms (he may have learned these terms from the harasser).
  • The child may be struggling in school, have difficulties concentrating or learning, and you may notice a drop in his grades compared to before.
  • If your child has been molested, this may be indirect evidence, but remember that in most cases the child will not tell you directly that they have been molested.

What do I do to protect my children from sexual harassment?

As mentioned earlier, sexual harassment can affect children of all ages, and the nature of communication and interaction can vary by age. Therefore, it is important to monitor and follow up on children from an early age, and here is what you can do: To protect them from such harm:

Teaching a child more about his body

Care must be taken from an early age to teach the child the names of his limbs and the names of the so-called sensitive areas such as the penis and vagina, and the need to emphasize these areas should only be addressed by the father. And mother, these areas should not be touched in plain sight of others. The child should also be told that if someone breaks these rules, they should refuse, stop or shout violently and try to escape.

Education experts assert that discussing these topics regularly with children can strengthen the bond between children and parents and make it easier for the child to talk to the mother or father if something happens that constitutes harassment when the child returns from school, you ask him what happened during the day, something unusual happened, or someone behaved What is unacceptable. If you hear this conversation regularly, the likelihood that the child will participate in it increases.

Be a part of your children’s life

Caring for and participating in a child’s life can help you recognize signs of harassment or harm, and you can participate in their life in the following ways:

  • They cared more about their daily life, what were they doing during the day? Who did you play with? What did you do after school? And so on ..
  • Get to know the people in their lives and see who they spend their time with, whether they are young children or adults. Ask them about their friends, even their parents, coaches, teachers, and all the people they might come into contact with during the day.

Set rules for using the Internet

The internet has become an integral part of everyone’s life, young and old, and due to lack of control, it can be a source of danger, threats and even a source of harassment. Therefore, some rules should be established, such as:

  • Decide which websites the child can view and check before browsing.
  • Block or block access to websites that contain pornographic or sexual content.
  • Ask for permission before downloading software or games.
  • If the child is at an age where they can chat online, encourage them to tell their parents if they receive any strange messages.

What do I do after confirming that my child has been abused?

Because harassment is a sensitive and difficult issue for both children and parents, some may act inappropriately when acknowledging the existence of harassment that may have psychological effects on the child, consider the following:

  • Remain calm when listening to the child and try not to react like shouting or blaming, as children need reassurance in these situations.
  • Tell them that you believe what they say and if you doubt a little, be sure to ask more questions, but calmly, and thank the child for encouraging and telling you.
  • Try to restore the child’s sense of safety. Bullies can frighten a child and distrust anyone around him. This can be done by telling the child that the person who offended him did something wrong and doing what was necessary so that he would not hurt him or anyone again.
  • Don’t blame the child if you know the harassment has occurred. Don’t blame the child for not being able to stop the bullying, and don’t blame the child for not telling you about this sooner. Remember that the responsibility rests only with the adult, not the child.

What happens if you choose silence?

Exposing a child to sexual harassment can cause physical and psychological harm to the child now and in the future. Children can be exposed to sexually transmitted diseases and physical injuries, as well as susceptible to depression, anxiety, eating disorders, or post-traumatic stress disorder. They are also at risk of harming themselves or engaging in illegal activities, or the trauma may lead them to learn a course of drugs and alcohol, or choose to end their life (suicide) as a teen, when they are unable to deal with that trauma. Now that you know all this, would you really choose to remain silent about this crime?!

One last message to whom it may concern

Child sexual abuse is a serious crime that affects the present and future of the person concerned. If you really want to protect your child’s future, you need to consult a professional psychologist, and don’t care what the people around you are like, they may say there is no shame in seeking professional help. And remember, dear ones, this world is hard enough and full of difficulties, and raising conscious, resilient children should be your first priority, so talk to your children, and talk until the barriers are gone and nothing remains more than trust and safety.

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